don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You took a bar mat shot.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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