I used to practice getting hit by cars.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
