He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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