Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
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