Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I see more hoeing in ur future
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