...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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