I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
