He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
