we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
