Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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