So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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