There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
