its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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