Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize