apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
