I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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