i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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