and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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