I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
