Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize