he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
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I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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