We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
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I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
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Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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