Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
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