this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
