if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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