carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
