You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
