you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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