Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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