The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
