My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize