oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
