I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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