Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
