Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
pop tarts are not kleenex
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize