If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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