I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize