all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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