Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
