He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
