: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
