the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
