I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
