Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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