your room smells of hookers.
And success
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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