you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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