I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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