garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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