The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
