A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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