I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize