You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
