I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
And then he peed in my hair
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