I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
