help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.