Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
