So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
