Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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