sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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